Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Brand New

With the test marketing of our new title and layout, which can be seen by clicking here.

And a brand new celebrity sponsor!




Now you can join the fun by commenting on the changes, suggesting new sponsors that you - our reader - would like to see, and much, much more!

Act in the next 30 seconds and we'll throw in pithy responses to your comments absolutely free!

So what are you waiting for?

Monday, October 22, 2007

An(other) Open Letter to Canada

Dear Canada,

I really don’t mean to obsess about you, but it’s hard not to considering the fact that the temperature remained in the mid-80’s (which is, I think, equivalent to 300 degrees Celsius) with about 107% humidity for quite a while after I made what I thought was a very polite and reasonable request a few weeks ago. Now, after reading Airam's recent post, I can’t help but to wonder if the warm weather was designed to take our focus off of your true motive.

Those of us in the United States have watched with increasing apathy as several states jockey to become the first to hold their party's Presidential primaries. Little did we suspect that you were up there busy hatching a similar but far more devious plan to move your Thanksgiving holiday to the second Monday in October.

Clearly, you’re trying to provoke us not only by stealing our proverbial Thanksgiving thunder, but by depriving us of the massive influx of Canadian currency that generally streams across our borders each Columbus Day. In doing so you’ve created an economic shortfall here in the States that could, quite frankly, send our economy into tailspin from which we may never recover.

Normally, we’d threaten to invade at this point, but as you can imagine, our troops are stretched a little thin. However, there are a few threats that we’re prepared to deliver on should you not move your Thanksgiving holiday to, let's say, the fourth Friday in November. For beginners, we will stop broadcasting our TV shows in your country. If that fails to work, we will be forced to encourage our current President to become a Canadian citizen and run for Prime Minister. You can say he won't win, but that didn't stop him here in 2000.

The choice is yours Canada. I await your response.

Your Friend,

Joe

Sunday, October 21, 2007

WiP Test

Random Friday Thoughts

My grandmother had a heart attack on Thursday. Typical of her, she's out of the hospital and has bullied the doctors into letting her go back to work on Monday. She's nearly 90 years old...and one of the most amazing people in the world.

Former British Primer Minister Tony Blair was the speaker at one of our company's events this week. I have to say that it was really interesting to hear him speak and, as one would expect, he's one of the more charismatic and impressive speakers I've ever had the good fortune of seeing.

I think this is the first time in forever that I've posted every day in a given week. Hopefully you won't have to deal with that again at any point in the near future.

Okay, I'm operating on approximately 90 minutes of sleep today, so I'll shut up now so that we can move on to the WiP (which I posted without captions yesterday (hence the comments) in the hope that somebody would do my job for me. Sadly, nobody did):


King Kong spent the week working out the kinks in his evacuation plan in the event he's attacked the next time he climbs the Empire State Building.


Another low-cost carrier has burst onto the scene. The airline, which consists of nothing more than a missile strapped to a carnival swing ride, is offering one-way flights from New York to "LA-ish" for only $30.


Professional bodybuilder Dayana Cadeau of Canada had a brief bout of modesty before snapping a man in the audience in half for ogling her too closely.


In a similar story, a man was briefly hospitalized after unwisely choosing to make lewd and suggestive comments to the woman piercing his lips.


A feline spent all day on the computer yesterday involved in what his owner called "a vicious game of cat and mouse"


Women can now step right from the bath to a night on the town with the new Shower Pouf clothing line.


Designers say that they're perfect for everything from a quick drink after work to an evening at the opera.


Phillips is recalling thousands of light bulbs it became clear that their design engineer misunderstood their instructions to develop a new spotlight.


A British soccer team was roundly beaten in a match last week after becoming confused about which way to stand on the field.


The Headless Horseman took a break from tormenting Ichabod Crane recently to take in a football game.


A woman barely escaped with her life when she was set upon by ravenous butterflies after accessorizing by putting a sprig of milkweed behind her ear.


When questioned about his choice of reading material at a local park, this local man described himself as "a big book fan."


Sesame Street is rocked by a scandal in which thousands of rubber ducks have come forward to lodge complaints of inappropriate bath-time touching by celebrity Muppet Ernie.


Police were dispatched to keep order when they held a massive rally near the studios in Astoria where the show is filmed.


And finally, an artist has created a sculpture called "Britney Spears Jeans" which is comprised of the approximate number of beers that the average man would need to drink before considering trying to get into them.